Watched his memorial service online, was pretty impacted by all that was said about him and to him. He carried love for others that many of us must learn from. Truly, this man left a legacy beyond music. What left the greatest impact on me is probably what someone said in his speech at the memorial service, "The king of pop must now bow down to the King of Kings." At the end of the day, let's live for our Father in heaven, the one whom we must all give account to, the one who is Lord over all. Amen.


Michael Jackson - We Are the World

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretneding day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me 

 it's week 3, day 14.

few days ago I was greatly encouraged by a staff member here, SP i shall call her. I was making cold calls to look for sponsors and was really feeling this-is-not-my-cup-of-tea... and getting quite weary about it... then she popped by and commented that she felt i was doing good because I sounded very hospitable and polite when I called up the organizations. 

I felt really encouraged! (and of course i also felt a bit embarrassed that everyone in their department were all listening to my conversations! hah. I feel more comfortable when no one's watching (or listening.) ah well.... in any case, i'm still praying and hoping and waiting for good news at work! come on sponsors! 



today i also had a lunch-time workout
Duration: 40 minutes
Distance: 4.9 km
It's great to exercise!

Then i used the special weighing machine here while waiting for a training class to start...
weight: 50.4kg
fat %: 13.4% (i don't think it's accurate... women are supposed to have about 20% of fat right?)

And yes, today I learnt basic CPR cos next week I'll be following the Heart Safe team to schools to facilitate the basic CPR training. and i saw Esther on the training video - she saved a life at Holland V 2 years back because she performed CPR! I'm quite glad to have this opportunity to learn basic CPR... no certification whatsoever, but I guess if someone collapses in front of me now, at least I can do something to increase the person's chance of survival.

"In the event of a collapse (heart stops) in Singapore, only 2-3 people out of 100 will survive." - that's why all of us need to learn this skill! we could be able to save the 97-98 people.

This week, the Lord is teaching me to enter His rest.
Hebrews 4 - Answers why? how? -

¹⁰ For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His.

The Word Discovers Our Condition

¹¹ Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. ¹² For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. ¹³ And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.


It's quite paradoxical to have to "be diligent" to rest, to have to make the effort to rest. Yet this is the truth for all of us - that if we do not live consciously, we end up not getting enough/any rest. And so this week I'm making conscious effort to rest, to cut off my mind from work-related things, and to instead think about God, commune with Him, enjoy His creation. Thank You Lord. :)

Ezekiel 47 - Drawing from the river of life and healing
⁹ And it shall be that every living thing that moves, wherever the rivers go, will live. There will be a very great multitude of fish, because these waters go there; for they will be healed, and everything will live wherever the river goes.
¹² Along the bank of the river, on this side and that, will grow all kinds of trees used for food; their leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit every month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for medicine.

 well, what else do we do on a typical date?

EAT! FOOD! GOOD FOOD! Yes i always feel so blessed when i'm with jon cos i get to eat good food with him.  :)

Dinner: Hooked @ Upper Thomson


Appetizer: Baked Scallops - SUPER YUMMY! i loved the miso one - absolutely savoury



I ordered: Poached King Salmon - creamy sauce was good but a bit too rich after a while. Herb-seasoned potatoes tasted great with squeezed lemon.



He ordered: Pan Grilled Snapper with Aglio Olio Pasta


Dessert: Cheeky Chocolates @ Upper Thomson


We ordered: Warm Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream, Tiramisu. good stuff but nothing fantastic. Da Paolo's Tiramisu is still top on my list!

nah, my TGIF isn't a complain by the way. things are going fine here.   :)

Friday is dress down day, and we get to use the wellness centre gym from 4:30-5:30pm! woo hoo. what a great workplace!

This morning I had a good chat with my supervisor about the importance of building good networks, knowing the right people, and maintaining the networks. She shared that in all her years fundraising, most often, the people are are willing to help do so because someone they know personally asked them; most people help when she makes a phone call to make a personal appeal. Sometimes, she'll even meet up some of these contacts for a cup of coffee, to get to know them personally. All this has helped her greatly, especially in these tough times, she says. So true. I guess for me, I only came to recognize the power of networking late last year. But i guess it's also never too late to start.

She also shared about how she learned things the hard way - that some information (like your pay and your bonuses) just cannot be shared no matter what, and that people can turn their backs against you for a 0.1% difference in bonus. The important thing is really to treat every sincerely, with respect and integrity, then you have nothing to be afraid of. Well, I think this comes quite naturally to me so I'm not too worried. Furthermore, if God is for me, who can be against me? My ultimate goal is to seek His pleasure, and not man's - still working on it.  

; )

 the past 3 days have improved tremendously here in my internship. got to know people over lunches, shifted into my department's office and felt less isolated. Now i can conveniently ask my supervisor and colleague about anything regarding my work. and yes, speaking about work.... it's quite tough doing fundraising! all day i'm thinking about "who can be our sponsor?", sending emails, making calls, waiting for responses from potential sponsors. but in tough times like these, most organizations have shrunk their sponsorship budgets and so it's also tough on our side.

well, work aside, I am also beginning to see more of God's hand and how He is using me here. My supervisor is a pre-believer, but seem quite interested about God and church. I shall pray for her - she sits right in front of me - literally! and today I'm going to run with her in the wellness centre gym here during lunch time.  :) 

i do enjoy the organizational culture here. it's certainly relaxed and easy-going for most part of it. but it has not escaped the dreaded office politics. YES, there is politics going on in this VWO. . . human nature?

Day 1:
woke up 7:20am feeling tired from yesterday's long day and lack of sleep the previous night :(
got ready for work 
walked to the MRT in my itti & otto
feet felt dry and rubbed against my shoes; left foot glide in the car yesterday...
prayed on the MRT
MRT was slow and stopped a couple of times
reached my work place at 8:30am sharp
supervisor arrived 5 minutes later
no table prepared for me
unfamiliar faces, 2 interns from SMU - Leandra & Jasmine
strangers
uncertainty
awkward moments
unstructured work
felt lost; where-do-i-start?
ferrari charity drive, cars - thought of jon
developed bad blisters; foot glide would have prevented that
bought cotton-on slippers to save my feet
invited to lunch - got to know Ivan, Seok Peng, Stella, Ann
back to my desk . . .



Lord ... lead me and guide me, bring friends to me here, show me Your presence here.
You are the gentle whisper that brings peace, hope, assurance.
Let Your will be done in my life as I work in this place. This is where You opened the door, this is where You want me to be.
I will be patient, I will trust.



Yesterday @ PlayPlanPray, He said, "I will call you soon."

• Humility is the key ingredient
• Then add in graciousness in words
• Relentless belief in husband to grow to be a godly man
• Patience in times of conflicts and different perspectives
• Edification & Encouragement
• Unconditional love

Help me learn, help me change, help me grow Lord. May this relationship and the way I live be pleasing to You.

 Began reading a book today:


I bought it from causeway point's new christian bookshop - Lifespring last friday. 


A summary of the chapter and what impacted me - Chapter One: Who Will You Follow? How Will You Lead?

Jesus' style of leadership: Servant Leadership
Matthew 20:28 "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Mark 10:45 "For even I, the Son og Man, came here not to be served but to serve, and to give my life as a ransom for many."

He IS a relevant model of leadership for today. And He probably is the BEST one in a world where we have been plagued by self-serving leaders, corruption, self-promotion, misuse and disregard of stakeholders' trust. Jesus has faced all the leadership issues that we still face today - having to train, equip, delegate people, having to handle rejection, criticism, and opposition, facing personal issues and challenges while leading, having to communicate a radically new vision of the future, and the need to put career or relationships on the line to serve a higher purpose... He's done that all.


To lead like Jesus is a TRANSFORMATION JOURNEY

a) It begins with Personal Leadership - it begins from the inside - my motives and purpose in life. I belong to God and I want to live to fulfill my God-given destiny and calling. I must rely on Him to lead me. He loves me unconditionally, and my value is not dependent on my performance. That is who I am. This determines my perspective of leadership. 

b) One-on-one Leadership - with a proper perspective, I can then develop trusting relationships with others. Trust is highly important in leading others. People will not follow (or would not like to follow) someone they don't trust. From the book:
"Trust pours first from loving hearts committed to serve and support one another, through promises kept, to encouragement and appreciation expressed, through support and acceptance, to repentance and apologies accepted, to reconciliation and restoration. Yet trust is a stream with a fragile ecological balance: once polluted, it will take time and effort to restore."

c)Team/Family Leadership - Trust is critical at this level too."Without the trust developed in the one-on-one relationships, empowerment will never happen; people in the group will not empower each other to accomplish an assigned task."

d) Organizational/Community Leadership - "Whether a leader can function well in the organizational leadership arena depends on the outcome of perspective, trust, and community attained at the first three levels in the journey of transformational leadership." This level is really about having a bigger picture and putting the common good above all.


These 4 levels are meant to be built upon from the first level to the fourth -
"One of the primary mistakes that leaders today make, when called to lead, is spending most of their time and energy trying to improve things at the organizational level before ensuring that they have adequately addressed their own credibility at individual, one-on-one, or team leadership levels." HOW TRUE! This really led me to examine my own leadership style and journey. And truly, I think I need to spend more time to grow in the first two levels - Personal and One-on-one leadership. I need to strengthen my perspective as a leader, to be convicted of who God has called me to be. Then from there, I will be better able to lead the people that God has placed in my life, as well people around me who may simply be influenced by how I live. I also want to strengthen the relationships with my SPs, certain core team members, and my fellow leaders in this season. And through it all, Jesus, teach me to lead like You, teach me to live like You.

 His faithfulness endures forever.

God's grace and mercy truly knows no bounds; His love is beyond our comprehension.

Thank You for allowing us to learn a lesson today. Thank You for allowing us to make a mistake and then help us realize what's truly important.
Today we have heeded Your voice and chosen to make our stand together. We want to walk in Your favor and covering, we want to honor You by honoring each other. Though we may be faced with weakness and challenges, we know that we will overcome, because You are with us. We will overcome. Set us apart, Lord, set us apart. 

Psalm 51:10 
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

John 8:11-12
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

We will overcome.

 studying really doesn't excite me. i could find a thousand other things to do BEFORE i study. like word challenge (hah.), watch TV, check email (again), sleep... i can't wait for thursday - when my last paper ends! then it's off to East Coast with Tash & Gra for an afternoon of activities and the Integrity Worship workshop at night. Looking forward to that too, though $30 to me is still quite expensive for a workshop. but oh well... 

and i still haven't heard from the Lien Foundation people about whether I've gotten the internship I applied for - to intern at the Singapore Heart Foundation. I know I don't have to worry about it, and that it's all in God's hands... but I guess I'm just eagerly anticipating the "official" result of whether I'm really going to work there or not, eager to know if i heard correctly, eager to know what my summer will be like.  

This is my high-S personality coming through. . . ok. i'll be patient.

Singapore Heart Foundation: www.myheart.org.sg/

Today we realized that Eli's right ear was a little swollen, like a water balloon. At first it didn't hurt him when we touched it, but as the day went by, he would whine in pain when we touched his ear. 

I googled "swollen dog ears" and this led me to "Ear Hematoma"

"The swelling is due to blood vessels that have ruptured inside the ear flap, between the inside and outside layer of cartilage. This causes the ear to fill up with bloody fluid and after a period of time the blood in the ear clots and there is a firm swelling. If left untreated the ear will be painful and will eventually scar down similar in appearance to a cauliflower ear." 
See more and pictures at http://www.lbah.com/ear_hematoma.htm


So tmr we'll be bringing him to the vet to get his ear drained of these excess fluids. poor eli. Seems like he's getting more health related problems as he ages - he's 8 years old in July 2009. And I really dread the day that eli dies... he's such a part of our family! Life would be different without him.

 

today i experienced freedom and intimacy with God (it's like the condition that makes you never want to "leave", you don't want to stop worshipping, you don't want to stop, cos you're enjoying His presence). well of course there must be something that happened that made me feel trapped, otherwise i wouldn't be freed...

as i got home today, i just felt a godly unrest in my heart, and i began to ask God to reveal to me. He got me to think about my outing with the girls from school. we met up at Morton's Steakhouse to celebrate the end of exams, as well as to farewell Mona cos she was going to fly off to NZ for about 3 months. so we thought we should catch up before everyone goes away. they wanted to go there cos of the free steak sandwiches, and because they liked it there (they've been there before, only gracia and i haven't). so anyway, we went. it was a bar, but it was just plain noisy and not a sensual place. people were mainly drinking martinis. and yes gracia and i didn't order any drinks cos we don't drink. i know i didn't do anything wrong, but i just felt unsettled, especially when there was another group of SMU people there, and when the girls started taking pictures (they love taking pictures when we go out). thoughts just starting coming to me, i suppose on hindsight that it was the Holy Spirit prompting me... "i wonder what they think of me hanging out here with the rest of the girls... do they see me differently? i suppose not... am i being a very bad testimony?"  "if these pictures can put up on facebook, and my church friends saw them or even other friends saw them, what would they think of me? would they make ungodly associations to me if they see the background being a bar, with the girls holding their martini glasses? they'd probably think i was drinking too...." at the point in time, i brushed the thoughts aside. but when i got home, GOd just reminded me again... that i couldn't just let it pass, He wanted me to think about it - where do i draw the line? sometimes it's so grey. but as i pondered and asked God to reveal to me, it boiled down to one thing - whether or not i stumbled someone, regardless of my own conscience that i didn't do anything ungodly in that sense.  and i knew that that was the reason i would need to draw the line, even if it means that i have to stand alone. 

i guess that's one of my fears - to be alone in a decision, to do something alone. but God reminded me that i am NOT alone and i cannot believe the lies of the enemy that i am alone. because He is standing with me, He upholds me in His righteous right hand, a cloud of witnesses stand with me and are cheering me on as i run this race, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ stand with me too. I am NOT alone.

i shared this with Gwen, and she assured me that i have not sinned, and that God loves me very much. yes it was assuring, i told God i felt i disappointed Him, but God told me He loves me, and He only chastens those He loves.... that's why He wouldn't let it pass, but I had to think about it. and i felt freed from guilt or shame... i felt His love, His relentless belief in me, i felt Him near. 

I love You Lord, thank You for loving me.

13 weeks have passed and i've completed the second year of Uni education. although i'm apprehensive at how fast time flies, i'm also very glad and relieved that this semester is over. it's been a challenging one, especially with CAT around. But i must thank GOd for His faithfulness, for seeing me through and for blessing us with favor during the CAT presentation. I'm now more confident of passing this module and never have to take it again. once is enough! but yes i won't deny that all that i've learned through CAT was good and useful. 

Now i'm left with starting on and completing my cognitive psychology term paper by tonight cos it's due tomorrow morning! i'm like feeling enertia. so un-motivated to start. i feel like i've hardly fully recovered from the crazy week 13. i still want to sleep somemore. i want to rest! but no, i have to finish this. and the unexciting part is that even after i finish the term paper, i still can't rest, i have to study for exams!.   :(   

one step at a time.


with regards to the issues/things happening in my sub-group,  God spoke to me today as i prayed for my youths... He asked me if i wanted to see them grow. and i said, of course i really do. i wanna see them rise up and become a selfless, God-fearing generation. Then He said, "Then, be faithful." So that's what i'm going to hold on to, when the going gets tough and when i feel like i'm hitting a brick wall, i'll remember to persevere, to be faithful. I will trust in God's power to transform and turn situations around. 

He must increase, I must decrease (John 3:30).

it saddens me to see many friends walking away from God when they enter uni. . . many times i ask why. why God? is this just to show who was actually serious about You? to distinguish between the goats and the sheep? or does it just teach us how important it is to have strong and supportive christian friends? perhaps this is the spiritual battle that is just too real. . .what and why?

it pains my heart... one by one they're walking away... thinking that they're walking the right path... but every step they take leads them further and further away.

13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." Matthew 7:13-14

What am I to do? First, i feel helpless with regards to these friends of mine and the only thing i can do is to keep the friendship,pray, and wait patiently for them to "come to their senses" as did the prodigal son in Luke 15. Even pray for the open door that once again they may see, through my life, that God is real and God wants them on His side. And perhaps i should and must persevere in raising up youths to be ready, to be strong, to be wise, and to be people who fear God. Lord, help me. help me understand. help me do something about it.

It has been an exciting time and also one where i need to remained focused and alert against the enemy. thank God for how He moved in the sub-group time today, i believe many of my youths were convicted that they really needed to work on building their relationship with God through daily TAWG. Lord, give them perseverance to be disciplined despite busy schedules and bless them double-fold when they choose to honour You and deny themselves. Break through.

Then the time of Serena's sharing about the article "Girls Gone Wild" (the 7-8 page special article about the state of some teenage girls in Singapore) was a painful reminder about the world we live in, the crooked and perverse generation that we must pray for and reach out to.

I sense that God really is doing something in the hearts of His children. but i also sense that the enemy is trying all he can to stop it. internal conflicts and disunity are his tactics. i really need to pray against it and expose it. Father, grant me wisdom in dealing with these things in the coming days.

Yesterday's sermon really challenged me to arise in my God-give authority. The authority by the name of Jesus, name above all names, above every principality and power. Satan is under MY feet. and i totally agree that the level of my authority, rather my faith to use the authority, will derive from the depth of my relationship with God. So i need to be focused and more deliberate in walking close to Jesus. and brother David Chng prayed for me when i responded to the altar call. He prophesied over me and i felt as if God was talking to me through him. it was just so...  ... i don't know how to put it into words. i just felt so close to God and so relieved to be close to Him at the same time. It has been a VERY tiring week with the CAT project and MPW presentation due. times like these, i really thank God for MRT concession which saves me A LOT of money. haha.

I also want to thank God that though i didn't get enough sleep last night, and had to go for service jam at 8am, section buzz time at 9am, rush back to jam at 10:30, serve at 11:30am, go through NB with Eunice during lunch, and finally I-Jam from 2:30-5:30, I wasn't tired! so thank God for empowering me as I serve Him. i believe that this week, week 13, my last week of lessons, will be one that is also God-empowered. not by my own strength, but through His. I will draw from the source!

Thanks be to God who always causes us to triumph in His name
Thanks be to God who always causes us to win, yeaaa
We have overcome
Hallelujah, hallelujah
We have overcome
By the power of Your name
Jesus You're the One
Hallelujah, hallelujah
The One who made a way for us to triumph in Your name!